The Cat
by office teaparty
Summary: The title is slightly self-explanitory I guess. I dunno. Better explanation/summary inside-I promise. No pairings. Stars nice!Suzie, Andy, Tosh, Jack, and Ianto. Gwen bashing? Well…


**Title: The Cat**  
**Fandom: Torchwood**  
**Pairings/Characters: Andy Davidson, Suzie Costello, Toshiko Sato, Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones. No pairings.**  
**A/N: So, this was originally an assignment for school, but it was pretty much a full-length novel anyway, so why not? Basically, it's the story of a foreign creature, unrequited love (sorta), humorous escapades, and unexpected bitch slapping. Enjoy!**

"Awwwe!" Jack heard from his office, which was quite odd, because his office was on the other side of the Hub. He stepped out through the glass paned room and down the staircase, gun in hand. It could've been nothing, but then again, it could be an evil shape-shifting alien…again, so he was not about to condone the situation, whatever it may be.

When he reached the far end, he found his team huddled in a close circle, murmuring happily amongst themselves. "Um, guys," the American said, putting the Webley back in its holster. "What's going on?"

Ianto and Tosh smiled giddily at each other before stepping back to reveal what was causing their glee, causing Jack to whip out his revolver again. "Jack!," they shouted and put themselves in front of the creature. "What is it?" he asked precariously. Suzie looked back and forth between her leader and the animal cradled in her arms. "Jack, don't tell me you've never seen a cat before," she said bemused.

"What?"

"A _cat,_" she reiterated.

"Or more specifically, a Persian mix," Ianto added.

"A _super adorable_ little Persian mix!" Tosh squealed as she stroked its fur.

"Ianto, how do toy know that?" Jack asked, almost completely ignoring Tosh's remark.

"Didn't I tell you? I know everything." Jack stared skeptically at the other man until he gave in and led Jack to his workstation.

"Fine," he sighed. "This was found on its neck when Suzie brought it in." He was holding up a red leather collar with a gold circle hanging from the front. Jack brought the piece closer to his face with his finger to read the engraved writing. "Gwen," he said quietly. Ianto nodded shortly. Tosh and Suzie stopped admiring the fluffy animal for a minute while they all stood in silence. That is, until Ianto could no longer restrain himself and burst out laughing, followed by the rest of the team.

They all remembered the over dramatic exit Gwen made when she announced she was leaving Torchwood because Jack _finally_ told her that he didn't and never was going to be in love with her. She started sobbing theatrically and tripped on her way out, knocking herself unconscious. What happened next? Well…let's just say that Rhys visits the gang every from time to time, Gwen now has two part-time jobs at a local high school, and they have one retcon to spare.

"Okay," Jack said, wiping a tear from his eye. "What about the collar?"

"Right, well," Ianto said, immediately returning to his professional demeanor. "I ran a search and-"

"Oh god."

"What?"

"This address." He pointed to the back of the circle. Ianto nodded. "Yes, about that. It's the address of-"

All of a sudden, an angry blonde man curst in the Hub and pointed accusingly at Suzie. "You stole my cat!"

"-PC Andy."

Andy scoffed and threw his hands up. "I should've known she was here-at _bloody Torchwood_!" He spat out the last part.

"Whoa!" Jack boomed. "Hold on a minute-I need a few things cleared up. One, how did you know your cat was here?"

Andy crossed his arms. "I put a tracking device in her so I wouldn't lose her."

"Ok, two. How the-"

"Jack," Suzie warned.

"-_Heck_, did you get in?

"Well it seemed pretty imminent, didn't it?" Tosh and Ianto silently agreed with Suzie not-quite-question.

"The door was open."

Jack turned back at Ianto. "Seriously? You left the door open?"

The young man shrugged, slightly embarrassed. "Must've."

'And three-Gwen? You named your cat Gwen?"

"Yeah."

"Wow, someone's a bit clingy, aren't they?" Suzie said just loud enough for him to hear.

"Hey!" Andy yelled. "She's a great person and-"

"Save it," Jack said. "Just take your cat and leave."

"Thank you." Andy went for his pet, when a female voice cried out "NO!"

Everyone stopped and stared at Tosh.

"Sorry, but no," she continued, putting herself between Andy and Suzie. "Andrew Davidson-You. Are. Not. Taking. This. Cat."

"Toshiko Sato-Yes. I. Am."

"Over my dead body!"

"Don't tempt me!"

Suzie cautiously backed away and went to stand next to the Captain and the Welshman as their technical genius and police liaison engaged in a borderline vicious conflict.

And they all guessed it would've gone on longer, had Tosh not slapped him hard across the face with the back of her hand, earning four mouths to gape at her in shock.

"Andy!" she screeched. "You are not getting your hands on that cat! That animal happens to be one of the only things that makes my life bearable-to know that sometimes, good things _do_ happen to Torchwood employees. So get a new cat, go home, and for the sake of all of us-GET A LIFE!"

The lawman ran form the government base without hesitation. Tosh took several hard breaths before practically skipping to Suzie and plopping down on the couch, cuddling the small Persian mix.

"Um," said Ianto awkwardly.

"That was…" Jack carefully picked his words. "new…"

"That was bloody _amazing_!"

The two men looked over at the alien technician. Suzie looked confused. "What? I didn't see either of you two take authority like that."

"She's got a point," Ianto said as he watched her join Tosh on the couch.

Jack shoved his hands into his pockets and sighed. "Do you want to get pizza?"

The Welshman blinked long at the Captain."Sure, why not?"

_~End_

_A/N: This is probably my favorite story so far. Please review!_


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